其實網路上有不少這則「超級電腦醫生」的笑話，但總覺得目前看到的版本都翻得太簡易，少了點好笑的FU....於是趁最近收到原文笑話之便，花了點時間翻譯一下XD
Costco doctor
好市多醫生
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
某天，在公司餐廳的排隊人龍中，喬對排在他後頭的麥克說道：「我手肘痛得要死，我想得去看個醫生才行。」
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies
「跟你說，你可以不用花那種錢。」麥克回道
"There's a diagnostic ? computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
「好市多那邊有一台看診電腦，只要提供尿液樣本，它就會告訴你病因還有解決之道。」
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."
「只要花你十秒鐘跟十塊錢－可比看醫生便宜多了。」
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
於是喬準備了一小杯尿液樣本帶去好市多
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample... He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
他放入十塊錢，電腦開始運作並要求尿液樣本....他把樣本倒入槽中等著
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
十秒後，電腦吐出一張紙，上面印道：
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco.."
「你患了網球肘。把手臂浸在溫水裡並避免過度使用....症狀兩週後即能改善。感謝您在好市多消費！」
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
當晚，喬覺得這新科技實在是太屌了，但又開始好奇他能不能夠愚弄這台電腦一番
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.
於是他混了一些自來水，家裡狗狗的便便，老婆跟女兒的尿液樣本，最後自己還打了一槍進去....
Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .
喬急著想知道結果如何，他趕緊又來到好市多，放入十塊錢並倒入剛才東加西加的亂七八糟樣本，等待結果
The computer prints the following:
電腦印出下列文字：
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
1. 你家水質過硬，買水質軟化劑（第九排架上）
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
2. 你的狗長了癬，用抗菌洗潔劑（第七排架上）幫牠洗澡
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
3. 你的女兒有毒癮，送她去勒戒所
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.. Get a lawyer.
4. 你老婆懷孕了，雙胞胎，但是小孩不是你的，去找律師
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
5. 如果你還不住手亂打手槍，你手肘永遠也不會好！
Thank you for shopping @ Costco!
感謝您在好市多消費！
....XDDDDD
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